UGH I was supposed to post this like a week ago but everything's been so busy and I have a stupid amount of take-home work these two weeks that I entirely forgot. I'm sorry!! Anyway, this is the second fic I wrote, for chesauroshin, who requested something cute and...um well I really hope this counts because I just kind of went on and on. I hope you enjoy!

Title: On Cliches
Pairing: TsunaGoku
Rating: PG-15ish? R?
Genre: Romance
Summary: So I realized that in like six years I've never written a single sick!fic

( this is a sick!ficCollapse )

Every day I post, I promise myself that one day I'm going to start replying to 100% of comments again. And then I go to work where I spend hours chasing after twelve year olds and trying to make them sit still, and I realize that today is not that day.

Anyway. Remember the help Japan thing? Yeah. This is the first one, written for divinathursday. I hope you all like it.

Title: Hype
Pairing: Tsuna/Gokudera
Rating: PG/PG-13?
Genre: Non-Mafia AU, Romance
Summary: On first kisses and the giving and receiving thereof.

( In retrospect, the rockfight was probably ill-advised.Collapse )

it's okay guys because i live in the future

so

HEY GUYS
GUYS
IT'S adistoria'S BIRTHDAY GUYS



HELL YEAH MERMAIDS AND DRAGONS

( TAKE A LOOK AT THIS GIRL JUST LOOK AT HERCollapse )

I'm alive.

The last two months have been…kind of ridiculous, and not in the best way. Well, sometimes in the best way, but not always in the best way. But things are better now, and while I'm going to be sporadic for the next few weeks, I just want to say that I'm back, and that I have gifts. Two gifts in particular, for two people (one of whom has actually exited fandom, I think, but I said I would write it, so). They've both been waiting for these a very long time, and for that I'm sorry.

The reason for that wait, though, has to do with this: I think that I am, temporarily, going to take a hiatus from fic writing. I really want to concentrate on personal projects, and…yeah. That's what I think I need to do right now. But I couldn't do it while I knew that I still had these to write, so I did my best. They were both kind of hard to write (as in, I wrote about three different versions of each "prompt," and scrapped them all because I was so unsatisfied with them. These were the best of the bunch, and even now I'm not really happy with them. They both need a lot of work, and I promise that I'll come back and edit them and make them so much prettier than what they are. But for now, I need a break.

So: with the possible exception of a few short drabbles here and there, I am taking a hiatus from writing fic to work on personal projects. I haven't left fandom; I'll never leave fandom lmfao. But I need a break from fic. I'm sorry, and I hope that you all understand.

In the meanwhile, here you go, guys. I hope you enjoy.

Title: Transformation Central
Pairing: Axel/Roxas
Rating: PG
Genre: ….idk.
Notes: For soshyn. You really deserve so much better than this stupid, mediocre fic, but I hope that you enjoy it even a little bit. It's not…quite funny, and it's hardly romantic, and really it's a bit like 6k of me acting stupid and forgetting about plot holes and just being mediocre all around, but klasd;f I hope you like it. And if you don't, then please consider this as interest; something to tide you over while I take a break until I'm able to repay you properly for your kindness. Also, this is sort of TWT, but it takes place sometime before Castle Oblivion. While Roxas is still a derp and everyone is alive, in other words. Also also: Happy 8/13, guys. Also³ THESE FICS HAVE NOT BEEN BETA'D. THEY ARE PROBABLY RIDDLED WITH MISTAKES. I WILL GET ON THAT, GUYS, BUT JUST LET ME SLEEP FOR NOW AKLSDF; I JUST WANTED TO HAVE THIS UP TODAY OKAY.
Summary: Whatever way you look at it, he's definitely a yak.

( come on boys // won't you shake a poor sinner's handCollapse )


And one more to go.

So, to celebrate what will probably be the last fic, in this fandom or otherwise, I am probably going to write for a good long while (although hopefully not forever; I am never going to leave fandom, and I know that one day I'm going to feel inspired to write for it again), I am going to conclude in second person. Even now, years later, this is still the tense I love most, and the one I will always associate with HoneySyn.

So. Until I decide to take a break from original fiction and return to the world of SGW and pregnancy bullets and the hundred other stories there exist to be written about the boys and girls we know and love: my swan song. As stupid and silly as any of the first I ever wrote. But that's me, and I'll always love it.

Title: Love and Head (Trauma)
Pairing: Josh/Metis
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Slice of Life/these boys being ridiculous
Notes: For resound, who's left fandom and probably forgot I owed her this, like, five years ago. But a promise is a promise.
Summary: Sex in rowboats, and other ill-advised ideas.


( Unless, of course, you're a teenage boy.Collapse )

Akldsf;aldsf OKAY

I'M DONE.

And on that note, I have two things to say:

1) If I owe you anything, fic or otherwise, then please, tell me right now or forever hold your peace. I'm just klasjf;lksf so burned out. And if I owe anyone anything, I want to know now, so that I can just write it, and do my best with it. After this, I'm going to assume that I've FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY done everything I needed to do, and that I'm free to just…relax and be silly and work on private things. But if I do owe you something and I've forgotten (or, conversely, if I ever said I would do something, or if you asked me a question and I forgot to answer, OR IF I FORGET ANYTHING REALLY), use this space to remind me of that, too.

And 2) I have….a pretty cool secret. A handful of you already know it. IF YOU KNOW IT, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT (I SWEAR CATEN IF I CHECK THIS PAGE IN THE MORNING AND SEE THAT YOU WROTE A COMMENT IN HUGE BLOCK TEXT SAYING "THIS IS DUAL'S SECRET," I WILL BLOCK YOU FOR LIKE A WHOLE DAY AND NEVER FINISH READING WILD ADAPTER EVER). But klasdf;l I don't want to tell you guys until it actually happens. But it's kind of really nice, and I've been excited about it for a while, and akldsf; I JUST NEED TO FANGASM. And say that I haven't been utterly useless the last two months. I've been working pretty hard, and this is the reward, and….I can't wait to tell you all. I can't wait to tell everyone.

Oh, actually, a number 3) THESE FICS ARE UNBETA'D AND CRAPPY AND I KNOW THEY'RE FULL OF MISTAKES. I'll go through them later and edit! Don't worry!

…Okay, and 4) Dear aurons_fan lakj;sldkf THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ACTUALLY COMMENTING TO SAY THAT YOU MISSED ME AKLDSF; I saw it late because I was on an unannounced hiatus for a while, but when I realized you'd been thinking about me I got so happy slakfj;. Just…thank you. A lot.

...So, guys. What did I miss?

you

guys.

Okay, it's been a very, very, very busy month. I graduated last Sunday. I'm at home right now. I'm in the midst of applying for jobs all over the country (RIGHT NOW ABOUT 3/4THS OF MY PROSPECTS ARE IN NEW YORK. SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO LIVE IN NEW YORK WITHOUT HAVING TO PROSTITUTE MYSELF TO PAY RENT). I would have posted pictures already (YES GUYS I'M ACTUALLY POSTING PICTURES) but a third of them are on my sister's camera (which she left at my father's house) and the other third are on friends' cameras and we're all unorganized so we're still trying to exchange photos.

Busy, busy month.

But in the midst of the second-most stressful semester of my entire life (because nothing will ever be worse than first semester of senior year in high school), I wrote fic. KH fic. Zemyx fic. For kiwi_minto's bid in the Help Haiti auction many, many moons ago. Her request was Zemyx, with a rating of M, along the style of SGW. Which I took to mean "epic stupidity, and possibly AU."

Well, uh. It's Zemyx. It's epic stupidity. And it's definitely AU, albeit not HSAU. It's even rated M (although the rated M part comes in an omake that I'll include in a post right after this one, for length reasons. I SAID THE FIC WOULD BE 2K. I LIED). The point is, um. I tried! And I hope you enjoy, even if only a little bit.

Also, if you spot any mistakes/grammar errors/sentences that just STOP, please tell me and I'll try to fix it! ilu guys you're the best beta team ever ;_;

Title: Functionally Elegant
Pairing: Zexion/Demyx
Rating: PG-13ish
Length: 10K SOB SOB SOB
Genre: really really stupid there's no way i can justify this you guys seriously
Notes: 1) For kiwi_minto. I hope you enjoy! 2) No, in no universe will I ever take anything seriously. 3) This influenced my characterization while writing this stupid fic far more than I would like to admit. 4) I'm sorry, Dostoevsky. I really, really am. 5) BABA YAGA. In case you didn't already know.
Summary: Let's say you're Baba Yaga.

( The problem with evil stepmothers is this:Collapse )

Today I had a chocolate milkshake. You don't know how much this pleases me. ♥

Title: Free BK Bacon Bap With Any Drink Purchased
Pairing: Sora/Riku
Genre: Romance/Humor/Drama
Word Count: 4k+
Rating: R
Notes: For questofdreams who once upon a time requested Sora/Riku, in that order. No, the title has no relevance to anything ever, but when I began this story about a year ago, I looked down at my coupon book chockfull of lovely Irish coupons, and this was what I saw. Also. See, Riku is a bag of issues. I wanted to write a story wherein he had to deal with those issues, but without confronting them head on. That is to say, I wanted to tell a story about relationships and the many problems that come with them, and the way in which something small can actually signify something much larger, but that also showed that love is tough and can slug through all of that. I’m not sure if I managed to properly convey that, so please offer any crit as you see fit! I'll go back and edit later, but this one was way too long in the coming, and I'm tired.
Summary: The grandest of heroic deeds are those which are performed within four walls and in domestic privacy.


( it was the month for weddings, after allCollapse )


If you catch any errors or have crit to offer, please feel free to do so!

Look I don't even know, this was supposed to be 500 words of porn and then it turned into 3k of fight scenes and why-I-love-the-Joi, plus a handjob. I am so so sorry. It's not even funny. I wrote Gintama fic that is not even funny. I should be shot.

also I was so close to calling this fic Dream Believer. If you watched Tenipuri, you'll know why. If you didn't, you'll be grateful I chose not to anyway. And someone please tell me how plurals work re: organizations. Fourth year of uni, and I still haven't figured it out.

Title: White Dregs
Fandom: Gintama
Pairing: Bansai/Yamazaki
Rating: R
Genre: not funny
Notes: checkeredpaint drew me BanZaki. I told her I'd write porn to match it. I lied.
Summary: A year is far too long a time to watch the control forged over a decade slip through your fingers.

( you should always take off your headphones when having sexCollapse )

So, aurons_fan wrote me Chad/Ryan. Long, porny, wonderful Chad/Ryan, in which they make booty calls and Ryan owns a private jet.

This is my thank-you. ♥

Title: Rapunzel
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Humor/FLUFF GEEZ SO MUCH FLUFF
Notes: Disney's making Rapunzel. Obviously, this must be taken advantage of. 1300 words of terrible, terrible fluff. And our favorite boys poking fun at each other, because that's what they do.
Dedicated to: aurons_fan ilu! I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. Or, Riku has a problem and Sora laughs and laughs.

( You're getting hair in my mouth.Collapse )

As always, edits and crit much appreciated! If you catch any errors, please let me know! ♥

Now, I'm off to give blood. Let's hope I don't pass out again!

Hi! I'm writing this using a tablet, which is cool on account of the fact that it alleviates just about all of the strain on my wrists. I'm still practicing, but I think I'm getting the hang of it! Firstly, thank you all so much for wishing me a happy birthday! It really means a lot! I love you all lots. Secondly though, I thought I'd leave you with a small present. I wrote this fic a while ago for 0SS, but as I rushed the hell out of it, I wanted to edit it before posting it officially on my lj. Still not completely happy with it, but am I ever? Some of you have probably already seen it, but I hope you enjoy the edited version. And if you haven't seen it, I hope you like!

also? i miss my icons :(

Title: Flower on a High Peak
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: R
Genre: Waaaaangst
Summary: On repentance.

( it doesn't change anythingCollapse )

let's just get this out of the way first, because you know it's coming:

Now that that's done:

HEY, HEY

YOU GUYS

YOU SHOULD ALL WISH fish_for_stars and nuvolaluz a VERY MERRY BELATED BIRTHDAY. BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME. I REPEAT: AWESOME.

So what does this mean? It means that I finally got off my ass and did something. Two somethings, actually, though only the first is a present. The second is just me being an idiot. BUT. I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH, AND I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I hope you enjoy!

Title: A Treatise on Fairytales, Reworked (2 of 9)
Chapter Title: Evil Men Always Want to Screw You
Genre: Fantasy/Humor/Gen/One day this will be romance I promise
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto. In the future. Way in the future.
Rating: PG
Previous Chapters: [Round One]
Summary: Of villains and virgins and getting tied to a tree.
Notes: Does anyone even remember this fic? Probably not. Seeing as how I wrote it over a year ago :| Also, the poem inside is by Karen Lynne Nivens. As always, I claim no rights to any of this, excepting the plot obvs.

( by my estimates, this story will be done in approximately seven yearsCollapse )


AND AS A LIMITED TIME OFFER: I wrote High School Musical fic. No, I'm not joking. Yes, I do love the trilogy. In fact, I adore the trilogy and think it's awesome and I'm a little in love with Chad. Anyway.

Title: My Apologies to Troy
Pairing: Troy/Gabriella
Rating: PG-15
Genre: crack crack crack
Summary: So, your life is awesome.


( the title is relevant. it's so relevant.Collapse )


ANYWAY. I LOVE YOU ALL, AND I'M SORRY THIS BIRTHDAY FIC/GREETING IS TERRIBLY LATE. I ADORE YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLINGS.


also, four mini notes.

one: did I forget that? my bad.
Because I'm pretty sure I've forgotten everything.

two: DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY BATMAN? BAAAAAAAAAAATMAN?

three: on that note, I'm picking up Giselle and I DEMAND a Prince Edward.

and four: semi-hiatus, because I've somehow fucked up my wrists and if I want to ever type again I figure I should probably give them a rest, so. ILU ALL

So, I really do have a number of things to write about (CLICK MY DRAGONS GUYS ), but more importantly is this:


Title: oedipus
Pairing: AkuRoku
Genre: ACTION. COMEDY. ROMANCE. No, wait...
Rating: PG-13
Notes: okay, you know how I always say "lol this is the weirdest thing I've ever written?" I MEAN IT THIS TIME. Written for ronsard in the oh_shit_santa exchange (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD CHECK OUT BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME), where two of the prompts given were akuroku + supernatural. So. Also, huge thanks to asario who served as a beta for this, and to adistoria, nurikokoishii, questofdreams, and atanih88 for letting me bounce ideas off them and listening to me freak out again. and again. and again.
Summary: So, let's say you sell vacuum cleaners.


( We begin with an infomercial )


(it's a two parter, so when you're done with the first, click the "onward" link!)

Hey hey hey!

Sorry for the radio silence, guys! The past few weeks have been absolutely chock full with thing after thing after thing, from leaving my wonderful Ireland, to Christmas with family and friends, to volunteering at my old work and attending weddings and wtf-ing at the destruction of the local Blockbuster by way of runaway car. Haha, things have been hectic, and they'll probably only be more so in the time to come. In the meantime, though, two things! No, three! Firstly:

MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS,
AND A
VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

Second thing:
I...actually have fic. *___* Written for the khr_exchange comm a week or so ago, as a gift for rogue_picaro. Not sure how many of you on my flist ship the pairing, but I had fun with it!

Title: Sex and Sushi, or, How Squalo Was Banned From Baseball From Now Until Armageddon
Pairing: Yamamoto/Squalo
Rating: PG-15, with an R omake
Genre: Romance/Crack
Summary: Squalo would have been happier with socks.

( Beaches are always closed for renovation )


And one more thing! A lot of you have been feeling kind of down lately, but that's no way to usher in the new year, so to all of you, I wish you the very best! GIVE EACH OTHER LOTS OF LOVE!

I-I'd also like to give shoutouts to piogge, tsunayoshi and asario. YOU GUYS DESERVE THE WORLD, AND IT MAKES ME SAD WHEN YOU GUYS ARE UPSET, TOO. BE HAPPY, OKAY?

W-well, I was going to wait to post this, but aubuyn told me to do it right now. So.

Also, the url for this makes me smile.

Title: Parlor
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: Fucking NC-17
Warnings: Gah. Um. Squick. Spiders. Graphic sex, both slash and het. Creep. An OC. Deviating from canon. Violence.
Genre: Romance/Horror
Summary: "Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly; "Tis the prettiest little parlor that you ever did spy!"


( If your right hand sins, should it not be cut off?Collapse )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOKUDERA-KUN

Ehehehe, uh. IT'S STILL THE NINTH IN MY TIME ZONE. A-and I know I've been shirking my duties; I still haven't finished the Zexion/Demyx I wanted to write a few days ago. And yes, I have good reasons, but I'm still disappointed in myself. B-BUT I FIGURED NO MATTER WHAT, I COULDN'T LET GOKUDERA-KUN'S BIRTHDAY GO UNCELEBRATED, SO. Happy birthday, dear. I love you bunches.

Title: Not an Omake
Genre: Romance/Humor?
Rating: PG-ish.
Author's Notes: A huge thank you to Questy, KT, and Nuri! The first for reading it over, the second for reading it over and ensuring that Christmas songs will stay stuck in my head for years, and the third for being generally awesome, even if she's almost as bad at titles as I am.

( Cliches are cliches for a reason. It's because they're AWESOME.Collapse )

Title: Hell: Remix, or, How to Be Human, by Gokudera Hayato - Part Two.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Everything
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Summary: In which Gokudera is a demon and Tsuna is fail fail fail.

( Do Not Join the Boxing ClubCollapse )

Summary: In which Gokudera is a demon, and Tsuna is fail fail fail.


( when in doubt, lie.Collapse )

1. When in doubt, lie.

It was a dark and stormy night. The moon hung heavy in a dark, starless sky, the lights of the city shining far more brightly than those dim celestial bodies from hundreds of millions of miles away could ever hope to overpower. The howling of the wind sounded like wolves: whistling through the alleyways; rattling the garbage cans lined across the roads; turning the night feral and dangerous. Stray dogs and cats padded soundlessly down the vacant streets, their eyes reflecting light in ways that seemed designed more for dread than practicality. Soon, their mocking grins seemed to say. Soon.

It was a scene out of a slasher movie. You know the kind: watch the screen, kids, the extra's right about to die, in five, four, three, two- oh, there he goes, look at those arms fly! I'm not making this shit up.

The air was ripe with foreboding - with an eerie sort of chill that hung on the bones and clutched at the throat. Even the faraway traffic seemed muted, as if someone had lowered the volume on the television in anticipation of the screams that would soon rip through the speakers. The only sound came from the trees groaning against their eternal confines, and the slip-slop of paws creeping through puddles, and the strong, strong wind, whipping anything not secured to the ground up and away in one long, macabre dance of keep-away.

Got that?

Now, fast forward six hours. Because our story does not begin on this dark and stormy night. It begins the morning after, as a young boy trips over a fallen branch from last night's storm and bashes his head half-open on the pavement. The boy's name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, and he's late for school. Or he will be, anyway. It seems he's gotten his foot caught in the grate said fallen branch was obscuring. And his pants have somehow managed to rip themselves on air. And his half-finished science project is teetering on the edge of the sidewalk, right about to- oh! There it goes, run over by the only car that's passed by in the last half hour. Tough luck, Sawada-kun. And you stayed up all night, too. Oh, well. You wouldn't have gotten more than a D, anyway, what with the way your volcano only seemed to erupt on odd numbered days when the atmospheric pressure was below XXX, which, this being Japan in the middle of spring, happened exactly never.

Take a good, long look at the kid. Dame-dame-Tsuna is a sad, sad boy.

But this isn't wholly his story.

*

It began with the sky falling.

This, of course, is an exaggeration. We've all seen Chicken Little, so the reader can surmise that the sky wasn't actually falling. Poor Tsuna just didn't realize this until later. When he'd finally stopped seeing stars and was able to focus on the tall, lanky boy standing above him, for example.

Rewind a few minutes.

Finally, after ten minutes of hard effort, Tsuna had finally managed to gather up the much lamented remains of his science project, dislodge himself from the grate, and dust himself off as best he could. He was going to be late. Hell, he was probably going to end up missing all of first period. He sighed to himself, closing his eyes dismally. He'd probably be better off not showing up today. With his luck, Hibari-sempai would be waiting at the doors, tonfa in hand, ready to kill any wayward student not prudent enough to show up a full half hour early for school.

He had no idea why he even tried.

So lost in his thoughts was he that he didn't notice the sudden darkening of the sky, or the fierce claps of lightening, or the dim roar of thunder. And he proceeded to not notice this for the whole of the time it took for the sky to open above him and send one thin boy tumbling down to crash land directly atop him.

*

The boy's name was Gokudera Hayato. He was a transfer student from Italy, who liked cats and math and explosive devices, and who made a habit of leaping off small buildings onto innocent pedestrians. He also hated the world and everything in it. Or at least, that's what Tsuna gathered. It was, of course, possible to mistake Gokudera's ‘HEY I'M WALKING HERE FUCKER. YOU GET OUT OF THAT CAR AND I'LL BLOW YOUR DICK OFF' for lighthearted ribbing, but Tsuna wasn't going to take any chances. What he was going to do, however, was take off running in the opposite direction and hope he could make it to school before first period ended. Anywhere was better than with this psycho.

"So," Gokudera said, in a tone that indicated quite clearly that his next words were meant to be taken as orders, and not requests. "Since I'm new, I need a tour guide. Someone to show me around. You'll do."

Tsuna whimpered, and began plotting escape routes. "Ah," he said. "I'd love to. Except there are probably people better, uh, suited for the job than me. I have a science project, you see. I'm going to be late."

Gokudera peered down at the poor remains of Tsuna's project, and snorted. "The fuck is that supposed to be?" he asked. "A can of salami?"

"I-it's a volcano," Tsuna stuttered. "And I really have to be going. I'll see you later, Gokudera-kun. Bye."

He made it five steps before a large hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him to an abrupt halt. "You," Gokudera hissed, face angry. "Do not want to do that."

Tsuna squeaked. Gokudera's eyes turned stormier. "Stop whining," he hissed. "You're fucking annoying. Shit, you piss me off. Why'd I have to land on you, anyway? I should have gone to Rome, but-" And then he paused. Tsuna wasn't staring at him anymore. Instead, his eyes were fixed at a spot directly above his right shoulder. His face was blood-shot.

"Y-y-y-you," Tsuna said. "Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you-"

Gokudera frowned. Then he glanced over his shoulder, at the place Tsuna was staring, wide-eyed. Then he winced. Because from his back spread two leathery black wings, thick veins visibly pulsing with blood, and there was no way they  were fake. "Oh," Gokudera said, sounding slightly chagrined. "Fuck."

"Y-you," Tsuna said. "Y-y-y-y-y-y-you h-h-h-h-h-have-"

"Ah," Gokudera said. "Yes. Wings. I guess I forgot to mention those."

Hell - Remix
or
How to Be Human, by Gokudera Hayato

2. Blowing someone up just because they crapped on your shoes is Not Allowed, and one can get into great trouble for doing so.

It took Gokudera exactly two hours and six minutes to calm down Tsuna enough to explain the situation.

Fact: Gokudera was a demon. Pretty high level, too; the guy once blew up half of Tartarus with a fire cracker and a pack of Sprees. So goes being the son of one of the highest ranked demons in all of Hell.

Fact: Gokudera's father was a douchebag. We won't elaborate on this, because Gokudera didn't, and as this is his story, we'll leave all pertinent background information for a later time. Right after a tense action scene, maybe. Or not. Time constraints, you see.

Fact: Gokudera, being a reasonably intelligent young demon, had decided that he'd had enough of his life in hell. He hated it. He hated his father, and he hated his family, and- well, he'd left. Had run away. Family betrayal being tantamount to treason, however, Gokudera had to run somewhere the demon armies of hell would be hard pressed to search. Somewhere he could blend in with the natives while still evading the search teams that would probably follow in his wake. Somewhere no one would look at him funny if he dressed a little strange and periodically set things on fire. So, obviously, Japan.

Fact: Gokudera needed a tour guide. He'd chosen Tsuna.

This is where we again join our young heroes: as one attempts to toss himself from a low building, and the other attempts to secure a companion.

"D-don't come any closer!" Tsuna yelped, clutching onto the edge and doing his level best to simultaneously bat Gokudera away. "Get back! I'll totally jump, I swear I will!"

Gokudera glowered at him, tossing his hair out of his eyes. "You jump, and I'll go back to hell to personally make sure you spend the rest of eternity bending over for Hitler. Get the fuck away from the edge or I'll drag you back myself."

Tsuna didn't get away from the edge. He didn't make any move to jump though, either. "Wh-what do you want with me?" he asked. "I won't give you my soul! Y-you can just f-find someone else to possess!"

Gokudera added ignorant to the already twelve-page long list of Sawada Tsunayoshi's many faults. "Possession is for the grunts, dumbass. I'm an A-Level demon. We kill things."

Tsuna wobbled on the ledge. Gokudera internally cursed. "But you don't have to worry about that," he muttered. "I won't kill you. Hell, you play nice, I won't even hurt you. I told you: I just want you to show me around."

The boy's back stiffened for a minute, and he looked up, his grip on the ledge loosening. "You just want me to…" He licked at his dry lips, frowning. "Why?"

Gokudera shrugged. "I told you. I'm fed up with hell. I want to try living as a human for a while. See what's so special about you all. Only problem is, I figure our customs are different. Unless you guys spend every Halloween staging mass orgies and overdosing on popsicles."

"No," Tsuna squeaked. "No, we don't."

"There you go," Gokudera said matter-of-factly. "If I want to blend in - get the whole human experience, if you will - it stands to reason I should chummy up with the locals, doesn't it?"

Tsuna gulped. "A-and why should I h-help-"

"Because I'll kill you and mix your ashes in with kitty litter if you don't," Gokudera barked. "That a good enough reason?"

"Yes," Tsuna said. "Yes it is. Thank you."

"Good," Gokudera said, masking his self-satisfied grin with a scowl. "Now. Let's start. I have a few questions. You're going to answer them for me, or die. Capiche?"

Tsuna whined deep in his throat, clutching his school bag tightly to his chest, but he didn't fall flat over in terror, which Gokudera figured was an improvement. "A-alright," he said tearfully. "W-what?"

Gokudera grinned, the expression ten times too feral to be at all reassuring, which was probably what Gokudera had been aiming for in the first place. Tsuna very carefully did not take a running leap over the ledge of the building, as was his first instinct, and merely did his level best to keep control of his bladder.

"Well," Gokudera said, smirking. "What's school?"

3. Remember: calculus sucks, no matter what. Even if you actually think it's super cool, and you could maybe do related rates all day, and integrals give you the shivers. Don’t admit it. It'll blow your cover, and you'll have to do a mind-wipe, and then it's paperwork for the next thousand years and no, you're not allowed to destroy HQ. Again.

One hour later.

To his credit, Tsuna had tried long and hard to discourage Gokudera from doing…well, just about anything, up to and including mass homicide, mass property damage, and magicking himself a school uniform befitting of any proper high school student. If, of course, by "long and hard" you meant he stuttered a lot and maybe burst into tears, in which case one could say Tsuna had put forward the most eloquent argument ever seen outside of a law school debate competition.

Predictably, he failed. So here they were: Tsuna, doing his level best not to start bawling where anyone could see him, and Gokudera, somehow simultaneously smirking at Tsuna and glaring at everyone within a kilometer.

"Now, r-remember Gokudera-kun," Tsuna stuttered, his hands wringing frantically. "You can't kill anyone!"

Gokudera grinned in anticipation. "Sure."

"And you can't h-hurt anyone, either," Tsuna continued nervously. "N-no matter what!"

"Of course."

"A-and don't try to tempt people either!" Tsuna finished on a squeak. "I-if I find out that a single person has committed an act of indecency, or…or run through the school with their pants on their head-"

Gokudera snorted. "Hah. That's child's play. I incite them to orgies."

Tsuna began looking vaguely like he was having an apoplectic fit. Gokudera muttered under his breath and rolled his eyes. "Which I won't be doing either. Fuck. Are all you humans this prudish?"

"Yes," Tsuna squeaked. "Yes, we are." He closed his eyes. "Oh my God. I'm going to get expelled."

Gokudera peered at him curiously, his eyebrows drawing up and a lazy smirk pulling his lips apart. "Relax, Sawada. You can't get in trouble for taking something to school that doesn't supposedly exist. Don't worry. I'll play it cool. I can be a human." He wet his lips excitedly, smoothing his hands against his slacks in what could only be a nervous gesture. "Nobody will be able to tell the difference." He tossed his pale hair over one shoulder and grinned, feral. "Now. What period is target practice?"

"Oh God," Tsuna said.

*

It took exactly three minutes for the tag team duo to realize that maybe they hadn't planned this out thoroughly. Sign one was Nakagami-san somehow managing to lose her bra within one heartbeat of laying eyes on the new Italian transfer student. Sign two was the mass exodus of  every person who had any connection whatsoever with a temple.

But really, they could have dealt with it. They would have been fine; a little intimidation here, a glare over there…it would have been cool.

You know. If school didn't include human interaction.

4.  Human females love idiots. This explains Yamamoto Takeshi.

Gokudera's hatred of Yamamoto began like this:

"Hi," Yamamoto said.

"You suck," Gokudera said.

This is, of course, an oversimplification of the events that occurred that first fateful school day. It's just that no one can agree to exactly what happened. When asked to recount their first meeting, Tsuna, for example, will mention zombies, baseball, and Newton. Yamamoto insists the zombies were aliens and Newton was actually Einstein. Tanaka from 1A says they're both douchebags; it was vampires and Hawking, and the sport in question was actually football of the American sort, which Gokudera insisted was better than baseball, a statement Yamamoto Takeshi obviously took offense to.

Tanaka's obviously an idiot, because Yamamoto Takeshi wouldn't take offense to anything short of premeditated murder, and probably not even then. The point of the matter was, Yamamoto and Gokudera met, and the world was a more chaotic place for it. And see, this probably wouldn't have been much of an issue. Boys will be boys, one-sided rivalries will be one-sided rivalries, and people should probably just let them fade with time. Being angry is hard work, after all: Gokudera would learn to ignore Yamamoto eventually, and Yamamoto would learn to accept the fact that yes, there did in fact exist a person in this good, wide world that didn't think he was the coolest thing since Babe Ruth (not that Yamamoto ever thought this, because the boy was…well, not humble, exactly, so much as he was oblivious to the way sixty six percent of the female population [up to and including the chemistry teacher] of Namimori Middle, and nine percent of the male entertained bridal thoughts towards his person. ), and that said people should probably be avoided.

Except that Yamamoto? He was just about Tsuna's only friend in the world, and could no more be avoided than Tsuna could avoid bursting into shrieks every time Gokudera set something on fire.

Therefore: lunch.

It had begun like any normal meal. Mostly. That is to say, after he'd explained the concept of lunch period to Gokudera ("You take time off from work just to eat? The fuck are you, pussies!?", he'd led him to the rooftop, where Yamamoto greeted them with a thousand watt smile and a cheerful wave. Maybe Gokudera had bristled a little more than normal (if you called spontaneously combusting the passing Japanese History teacher's notes "a little more than normal" [which you probably could, especially seeing as how the only reason Tajima-sensei was still alive was because, one hour earlier, Tsuna had grabbed the glowing finger Gokudera  was aiming at the poor teacher to fry him like a pancake and sent it pointing towards the window instead]), but that had been okay. Mostly okay. Okay in a vague, ephemeral sort of way.

Then Yamamoto signed away his soul.

Let's backtrack.

*

"I'll give you Koushien on a silver platter if you agree to spend an eternity fighting the demons of the lowest circles of hell," Gokudera said.

"Haha, that sounds like a fun game! Okay!" Yamamoto said.

"For the love of God, don't sign the contract!" Tsuna said.

*

And that was about the long and short of it. So here we find Tsuna, who is having the worst lunch in the history of the world. On his right sits a demon masquerading as a human who probably wants to rain fire and brimstone on all of Namimori. On his left, a cheerful baseball player, who remains utterly unaware of the fact that he's just doomed his immortal soul.

"I think you two should talk," Tsuna said. "About contracts, maybe."

Gokudera scoffed. "What for? It's been signed. No escape now."

"I don't feel Yamamoto was informed enough to make a proper decision!" Tsuna said shrilly.

Yamamoto laughed, elbowing him companionably and ignoring the way Tsuna half-fell flat from the force of the blow. "Don't worry so much, Tsuna!" he said, grinning.  He leaned in close, covering his mouth and speaking in a loud stage whisper. "This guy is probably just lonely and wants to play with us without making it seem like he's asking! We should go along with him!"

Gokudera squawked. "You take that back, bastard! I'm not lonely!"

Yamamoto laughed again, and winked. "Oops, you heard me! Well, you don't have to hide it, Gokudera!  We all get lonely sometimes!"

Gokudera gawped at him for a moment. Then his eyes turned red.

5. The whole fire and brimstone shtick is passé, and will probably get you labeled a Hellboy otaku.

"And that," Tsuna finished, mouth trembling, "is why you shouldn't set off a chain reaction of explosives within the school grounds."

Beside him, Gokudera glared, and pressed his icepack harder against his swollen eyelids. "How was I supposed to know a Level Seven Special Ops Demon Taskforce Member was masquerading as the head of your student council!?"

Tsuna yelped. "Hi-Hibari-san isn't a demon!" He paused, cocking his head. "Well…"

"Exactly!" Gokudera cried triumphantly.  "I know a demon when I see one, and that was definitely a demon! He said he was going to bite us to death!? Do you know what that means? Don't answer that. It's rude and only cretins say that sort of thing outside of closed doors. Your Hibari-san is a harlot."

Another mangled noise. "Hibari-san isn't a harlot!"

"Oh, like you would know, Mr. Don't-Stage-Orgies-Gokudera-kun-They're-Sinful." He spat viciously and tossed the ice pack towards Tsuna, who fumbled for it a moment before pressing it to his own eyes. "And anyway," Gokudera continued, voice petulant. "I could totally have taken him if I'd wanted to."

Tsuna stared at him as if he were crazy. Now, at first glance, one would be hard pressed to argue  with Gokudera's logic. After all, he was a high level demon; surely no human could stand up to Gokudera and survive.

Then one remembered that Hibari was quite possibly a Level Seven Special Ops Demon Taskforce Member masquerading as the head of the student council, and realized that Tsuna probably had the right idea.

Gokudera, obviously, had a problem with this. "What," he said, glaring down at the suddenly quivering student. "You don't think I could?"

"I-I didn't say that," Tsuna stuttered, covertly placing at least three meters between them. "I-I just think you probably shouldn't be fighting with Hibari-san."

Gokudera huffed, crossing his arms. "Why not? It'd be easy."

"I-I don't think it'd be easy, Gokudera-kun."

"Easy," Gokudera insisted. "As easy as this."

And that was when he set a passing cat on fire.

That, predictably, was also when Haru Miura came rounding the corner, saw fireballs materializing out of Gokudera's pointer finger, saw Tsuna shrieking and running after the poor animal trying to put it out, and came to all the right conclusions.

"Demon!" Haru shrieked, pointing a menacing finger at Gokudera. "Get away from my Tsuna!"

"Haru!?"

"D-demon!?"

Gokudera spun towards Tsuna, eyes wide and a little scared. "You know her?"

"Y, yes," Tsuna said, wincing away and turning towards Haru. He waved his hands wildly, taking a step back. "Th-this isn't what it looks like, Haru! Th-that cat just caught fire by itself! Gokudera's not a demon!"

The assurances were about three fireballs too late. Haru came stomping forward, hands up as if she actually meant to throw a punch. "You vicious murderer!" she shrieked. "How dare you hurt a poor, innocent animal! How dare you threaten my Tsuna into being your accomplice!"

"I'm not threatening anybody!" Gokudera shouted, waving a fist quite threateningly.  "Go back to doing whatever the hell you were doing! You're annoying!"

"Hah!" Haru screeched. "Like I would!" She spread her feet,  and - in a move not unlike those one would see in a magical schoolgirl anime - reached into her schoolbag and withdrew-

-a cross, prayer beads, and a handful of exorcist's charms.

Tsuna blinked. "No," he said. "This is just too unlikely. My luck can't be that bad."

"Not so cocky now, are you, demon?" Haru crowed, thrusting her cross forward like a gun. And indeed, Gokudera was visibly paling, his forehead suddenly damp. "How does it feel, fighting someone who can fight back!?"

Gokudera turned towards him, pointing at the scowling girl with a trembling finger. "Do you humans normally carry around holy weapons in your backpacks?"

"No," Tsuna moaned. "No. We  really don't."

"Stop talking to him, Tsuna-san," Haru shouted. "He's trying to corrupt you. Step back! You, vile oppressor of goodness, halt! Demon begone!"

Gokudera jerked away from her, eyes wide. "You're crazy!"

Haru laughed, waving about her talismans like a woman possessed (there was irony in that statement, but neither boy was about to waste time pondering it). "Your words shall not sway me, foul denizen of hell! Get away from my Tsuna!"

Gokudera turned to Tsuna, inching away from the swinging charms. "Stop her! She's crazy!"

Tsuna giggled nervously, looking very clearly like someone who would give his dying breath to make sure he didn't have to stop-her-because-she's-crazy. In fact, he looked a bit like someone who would like to run-like-hell-because-she's-crazy. He glanced between the two of them, shaking his head  wildly.

"H-Haru," he squeaked. "Really. Gokudera's not a demon. Really. Y-you should probably leave him alone."

The girl rounded on him, stalking forward and swinging her arsenal of crosses and Buddhist rosaries around like a pair of nun chucks. "No, Tsuna-san!" she cried, clasping her hands together. "He's deceiving you! He's out for your soul! But fear not, darling; I'll definitely have him expelled back to hell. Just watch! Avada K-"

Tsuna closed his eyes and did his very best to disapparate on the spot. He succeeded about as well as could be expected.

"You're a freak," Gokudera yelped, carefully avoiding the can of holy water being sprayed on his feet. "I'm not a fucking demon! Get away from me!"

"If you're not a demon, just hold still and prove it to me! The power of-"

"Sawada!" Gokudera roared, shoving the boy in front of him. "Call your girlfriend off!"

Tsuna squawked. "She's not my girlfriend!"

"Makai ten-"

That was when Gokudera decided it would be in his best interests to knock the girl over the bridge.

6. Also, soaring gas prices are not a good enough reason to teleport to school. It will blow your cover. See: #3.

Five hours later.

It had taken twenty minutes for Tsuna and Gokudera to fish the girl out of the water: five for Tsuna half-swooning onto the pavement, five for Tsuna screaming at Gokudera about murder and morality and my-God-my-mother-is-going-to-kill-me-and-we'll-get-arrested-and-the-rest-of-my-life-will-be-spent-as-a-Yakuza's-boy-toy. Another five where Tsuna attempted to save the girl himself (because demons didn't do the whole saving thing, and the girl had it coming anyway! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, SAWADA, OR I'LL TOSS YOU OVER NEXT). Then five minutes spent with Tsuna and Haru making their best efforts not to drown, until Gokudera finally stopped screaming at the both of them and magicked them both back to dry land.

Then Gokudera had to mind-wipe Haru, except he'd neglected to tell Tsuna that doing so might cause temporary short-term memory loss and quite possibly a few delusions, so the next two hours were spent with Haru standing utterly convinced that she and Tsuna were on their honeymoon, and Tsuna alternating between screaming his head off, bursting into tears, and trying to run away from all threats to his virtue.

Now they were home, Nana had been convinced into letting Gokudera stay, and Tsuna was quite sure that this had been the worst day of his life.

"This," Tsuna said, in heartfelt tones, "has been the worst day of my life."

Gokudera sat on his bed, arms crossed and face tight. He scowled, leaning back against the wall and hunching in on himself awkwardly. "Shut up," he muttered. "And stop complaining. You always do that. It's annoying."

"Sto-" Tsuna began, gaping at him in shock. "Stop complaining!?" He blinked rapidly, jumping to his feet and waving his arms around wildly. "You ran me over, you forced me to be your…your tour guide, you hacked into my school's database, you got us both beaten up by the school prefect, you antagonized my best friend, you let Haru catch you setting fire to a cat, you pushed her over a bridge, you stood there laughing at me while I spent half the afternoon defending my virginity, and turned my dinner into a living, breathing thing, and you want me to relax!?"

Gokudera glowered. "You don't have to put it that way."

"I don't have to put it any way!" Tsuna cried. He tangled his hands in his hair, tugging it wildly. “You're ruining my life! Why can't you just go back to hell where you belong!?"

Then the air turned freezing, and the lights above began flickering in a seizure-inducing rhythm. Gokudera stood, and took a menacing step forward. His pale colored eyes seemed to flash red for an instant, the pupils growing so wide they all-but eclipsed the irises. The room felt like it was going to swallow them. Tsuna's skin felt like sandpaper was rubbing it raw, pressing against his throat and drying the words in his mouth to squeaks and breathless gasps.  He couldn't breathe. Gokudera was doing something - was drawing out all air in the world, turning it both freezing cold and unbearably hot in some maddening mix of sensation that set his mind reeling and his heart drumming a pattern into his chest, or pausing, or halting altogether.

And from Gokudera's back, two wings spread.

"What did you say?" he asked silkily, fury making his voice quiet. "Did you honestly tell me to go back to hell, where I belong?"

Tsuna whimpered under his breath, a high, keening sound escaping his lips and dying for lack of air. He scooted backwards, plastering himself to the wall. His hands spasmed on the carpet, as if unsure whether to shield his face, or form fists, or fold together in impotent supplication. Before him, Gokudera continued stalking forward, until he forced himself between Tsuna's knees and shoved his palms against the wall around him, caging the smaller boy in.

"You seem to be forgetting, human, that you have no power over me. I could level this city with a word, if I wanted to. I could kill you, and everyone you've ever known, and you‘d be unable to do anything about it. If you're alive right now, it's only because I want you to be." He balled up a fist and slammed it a scarce inch away from Tsuna's right ear. Tsuna jumped at the noise, and slid further down the wall.

"Know your place, dumbass," he snarled, pushing away from the wall and stalking back to the bed. "Don't fuck with me. You know nothing." Cursing angrily under his breath, he pushed the covers to the side and threw himself under them, pulling them up around his chin.

Behind him, he could hear Tsuna slowly removing himself from his place on the wall and hesitatingly setting up a futon on the floor. He couldn't hear Tsuna's breath. The idiot was probably still holding it, still trying to make himself invisible. Stupid. Such a stupid, stupid boy.

Gokudera turned onto his side and towards the wall, and ignored the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.

That was day one.

7. Do not press the red button.

Gokudera woke up the next day feeling oddly like someone had trampled on his chest. His belly felt like it was doing cartwheels. The sight of Tsuna made him want to blow things up and simultaneously squirm like a little girl. He was pretty sure he had indigestion.

Any normal person would be able to tell that Gokudera was obviously feeling like shit for being a total douchebag. When one all but terrorizes ones landlord and only companion into half-pissing himself, it is understandable if one feels crappy afterward. What any normal person must remember, though, was that Gokudera was a demon, and a pretty mean one. He didn't do guilt.

But then, most demons didn't do happiness either, and Gokudera…well, he wasn't happy, exactly. He was feeling pretty shitty, actually. But for a few minutes yesterday, before the crazy girl and after the beat-down from a top secret operative obviously on a field mission, when he and Tsuna had been walking home-

Well.

And that left him feeling even shittier. Then they had to go to school, where the wave of human females throwing their underwear at him was beginning to lose its novelty, Tsuna kept alternating between throwing him scared glances and trying to stop him from frying anyone who spoke to him, math class was cancelled, and Yamamoto Takeshi tried to ruffle his hair.

Tsuna, had he been aware, might have been gratified to know that Gokudera's second day as a human was almost as suck-ass as every day of Tsuna's life up to that point had been, but alas, he didn't. Instead, he just flinched away every time Gokudera looked at him, and damn if that didn't make Gokudera's indigestion feel worse.

So he did what any normal demon would do in times of stress: revel in gore.

Of course, gore was a bit hard to find in the real world. Gokudera was pretty sure he'd have to carve someone's guts out himself, except that would probably make the human idiot upset, and he'd start screaming, and it would really be too much trouble for too little benefit. N-not that he cared what the moron thought, obviously, but his shrieking fits were annoying! Anyone would want to evade them!

And then, after school, when Tsuna locked himself in his room on the pretense of doing homework (really, he was rolling around the floor and trying not to wail), he discovered television.

Ten minutes of sailing heads and sloshing brains later, Gokudera ran up to Tsuna's room, threw open the door, and said "We're watching Night of the Blood-Sucking Brain-Eating Cannibalistic Zombies, Part VI. Get downstairs, now."

Tsuna blinked at him for a moment, uncomprehending.  Then he blanched. "No, thank you."

Gokudera glared at him. "Yes. We are."

"N-no," Tsuna squeaked. "I really don't think I should."

"Yes," Gokudera repeated, voice slow as if he was talking to a toddler. "We are."

"N-no, I-I r-really d-don't think-"

Two singed eyebrows and one fainting fit later, Gokudera and Tsuna walked downstairs and took a seat on the couch, popcorn in hand.  Except what Gokudera had neglected to account for was the fact that, now that he was actually within five feet of Tsuna, his chest was making those odd contractions again, and oddly enough, the blood and flying entrails did little to make Gokudera feel better. This was faintly worrying.

He glanced at Tsuna out of the corner of his eye, then turned back to the screen. Shit. The kid could never make anything easy. He had to flinch and pout and act like a girl, and then Gokudera's stomach-region would squeeze uncomfortably and it was all a bit of a nuisance, really. It had to stop.

"Hey," Gokudera said suddenly, eyes still trained on the screen, as a pretty young woman slowly got dismembered by zombies. Beside him, Tsuna tensed as if in surprise, but turned to face him. His face was an off-green color. Gokudera wondered idly if he should have chosen Disney instead.

"You know," he said, voice sullen and quiet. He ducked his head, fidgeting. "I'm, uh. I'm sorry. About yesterday. When I went all demon lord on you."

Tsuna glanced up at him nervously, then turned quickly away. He giggled a bit as if anxious. "No problem. It wasn't a big deal. You don't need to apologize to-"

"Shut up and accept it!" Gokudera barked. "I'm sorry!"

Tsuna shut up and accepted it. For a minute, anyway. Then he was back to fidgeting  and looking like he'd rather be fending off alligators than here with Gokudera, watching a zombie movie. Gokudera frowned in a manner he would never admit was petulant, slumping. Stupid human. He was being apologized to by an A-Level demon. He should be prostrating himself across the floor in gratification.

"This doesn't happen every day, you know," he mumbled. "I don't apologize often. You could look a little more excited about it."

To his credit, Tsuna made a valiant effort to look excited about it. He failed just as spectacularly as he did everything else in life. Gokudera groaned, and resisted the urge to just blow the whole house up. Maybe then Sawada would learn to graciously accept an apology when given.

"Look," he said, gritting the words out through clenched teeth. "I acknowledge that I'm pretty much upending your whole life here. I am…very grateful," he lied. "And I apologize for doing this. I will…do my best to make it up to you. Name anything, and I'll get it for you. Enemies you want killed-"

Tsuna squeaked.

"-women you want disheveled, increases in size and virility-"

"Oh, God," Tsuna whimpered.

"-seriously," Gokudera finished, glowering at the floor. "Name it, and it's yours. It's only…" and here he spat out the word like it was a curse "fair."

Tsuna stared at him for a long moment. Then he slumped. "I just want to be normal again," Tsuna muttered, eyes shadowed. "I want this to go away."

Gokudera thought very long and hard about blowing the whole house up. Then he decided against it. "Look," he said. "I'm sorry. But I can't leave. And I can't exactly find someone else. You're…" he mumbled something under his breath, then cleared his throat. "I hate to say it, but you're…pretty much the only human I've met since I arrived that I haven't wanted to kill on sight. So you're stuck with me, alright? Just accept it, and it'll go easier on the both of us."

"Anyway," he said, voice quieter that time. "Thanks. This is fun. It's been fun, spending time with you. Much better than hell, anyway."

Tsuna glanced up at him, surprised, before an uneasy smile spread across his face, and for the first time since Gokudera had run him over, his shoulders slumped in a release of tension.

And that was day two.

8. Alarm clocks do not fix themselves. They are in limited supply, too. One would do well not to blow them up, no matter how annoying. Anyway, they teach patience, which I'm told is a virtue, and when your human realizes you've gone a whole week without tossing a single one out the window, he'll smile at you, and it sort of makes your stomach flip-flop in a really awkward way.

With the zombie movie came one groundbreaking realization: TV was a thing of the gods.

Now, it's not like Gokudera had never heard of it before. It had been the talk of the town a few decades ago. Spanner had gotten a raise. Imagine! A magic box capable of promoting sloth, lust, and gluttony all at once? Ingenious. But he'd never actually bothered watching one. It had seemed a complete waste of time. If Gokudera wanted to watch people blowing shit up, he'd go to his backyard, lob a few bombs into the neighbor's yard, and wait for the fireworks to start. What was the point of seeing it on TV when you could live it?

The point, Gokudera was beginning to realize, as he watched a human fly through the air on a bike and land painfully on his head, was research.

"That," he said in awe, "is the coolest thing ever."

Beside him, Tsuna winced. "I think you're mixing up words. Most frightening thing ever, maybe."

"No, look," Gokudera insisted, pointing at the screen. "That man is an idiot, and deserves what he's getting. We get to see heads being split open like watermelons, all day long. How do you humans get any work done when there's shit like this being played 24/7?"

Tsuna turned a little green and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "By not watching? Can you change the channel, Gokudera-kun?"

"No," Gokudera said.

"Okay," Tsuna squeaked.

Except the way Tsuna's voice had cracked on the word made Gokudera feel bad, so he ended up changing the channel anyway. But by then it was too late. Gokudera had discovered hobbies.

*

Every spare moment of the next week was spent in front of the television, soaking up as much knowledge of the human world as he could. Baseball (which he hated, obviously). Football. Basketball. Drag racing. Gardening. Water polo. Miming. Everything available on channels one through nine hundred and twenty six was fair game, and Gokudera ate it up. What were these strange human customs called hobbies? What made them so intriguing? How was it that they created so much joy in the lives of people?

And then, five days later, in the middle of watching American Gladiator and idly wishing the nets would just disappear already, he was suddenly struck with a single realization: Tsuna had none.

Tsuna went to school (or attempted to). Tsuna suffered through school. Tsuna spent every afternoon on the way  home carefully evading every stray dog in the world, because every stray dog in the world seemed to be utterly convinced that Tsuna carried thick slabs of roast beef in the seat of his trousers, and was therefore fair game. Tsuna spent every evening lazing around the house, sitting in bed and staring at the ceiling, or answering Gokudera's questions, or doing whatever chores his mother made him do. Then he'd go to sleep, and rinse and repeat.

This, quite frankly, was unacceptable. Gokudera wanted to get an in-depth view on what it meant to be a human. He would not get this in-depth view by living with someone who was more of a crab.

The answer hit him in the middle of second period, as he listened to Mr. Nishimura (whose real name was Mr. Kurokawa, but Gokudera had never been good with names) blab on and on about Japanese history. If Tsuna didn't have a hobby, Gokudera would simply have to impress upon him the importance of having one. So he balled up a piece of paper and sent it flying at Tsuna's head. The little human jumped in his seat, before he turned around and caught sight of Gokudera grinning at him.

What, he mouthed, half-smiling in something resembling both consternation and amusement. Gokudera carefully resisted the near manic urge to rub his hands together gleefully, and instead held up two hands, swooping them before him in what was clearly sign language for after school, you and me should totally steal some roller blades and then proceed to graffiti the whole entire city.

Tsuna furrowed his eyebrows at him abashedly, shaking his head. Flying? he mouthed.

Gokudera snorted, ignoring the curious looks the other students were shooting him. He waved a hand in dismissal, then placed two fingers upright on his desk, mimicking a pair of legs. Slowly, he skated them across the surface, grinning devilishly. You and me, he mouthed, then glanced tellingly down at the desk.

There was a moment where Gokudera was almost sure Tsuna would never understand. Then his eyes widened comically, and he shook his head no. Or, more accurately: absolutely not, never, not on your life, over my dead body, no no no, and also, no.

Gokudera's grin widened, and he nodded slowly. Yes.

No.

Oh, yes.

No.

Gokudera frowned at him, and thoroughly wished he'd learned how to aim mind waves at people. If there were ever a time to fill a person's heads with thoughts of apocalyptic destruction and death, all of which could be averted if only said person deigned to join oneself in an afternoon of roller skating, it was now. Of course, Tsuna being neither a telepath, and Gokudera having slept through How to Aim Mind Waves at People 101 (because even back then, his focus had been on How to Wreak Destruction and Doom; mind waves were for pussies [see: Byakuran]), the former remained totally unaware of the fact that his bed was about to disappear into hyperspace were he to continue refusing the latter's pleas.

Ah well. Gokudera was nothing if not adaptable. He spread the fingers of one hand and held them out towards Tsuna, glowering. The human boy shifted uncomfortably, but nodded. Five words.

Gokudera pointed.

You.

He shook his head, then slid his fingers along the desk, mouth curving into a wicked grin.

No roller skate.

He threw a hand to the side, encompassing the whole class. Or, more accurately-

School.

And then he made a very rude noise, throwing his hands up in the air and snapping his fingers open in what might have been spirit fingers, but was more likely sign language for let's-blow-shit-up. Tsuna slid lower in his seat. Gokudera smiled at him, and cocked his head to the side curiously.

So. You'll roller skate with me?

9. Sometimes, your human will look at other people. Sometimes, these other persons are of the female variety. Sometimes, you'll kind of want to make them spontaneously combust. Don't.

They went roller skating, but on one condition: Tsuna could invite whoever he wanted.

Obviously, half the school showed up.

This, of course, is an exaggeration. Tsuna didn't know half the school. Hell, one could wager that he didn't know a tenth of the school. Half the school knew him, obviously, though if asked who Sawada Tsunayoshi was, they'd all just stare blankly ("you know, the kid who fails at everything,” conversely, would have much better results). But Gokudera had wanted to go skating. With his tour guide. Just the two of them, demon-human bonding time: watching Tsuna spend approximately 82% of the afternoon on his ass, turning quadruple axles, starting fights and generally getting to know each other better.

Then Tsuna had asked if he could bring Yamamoto along. Gokudera said no. Yamamoto had shown up anyway.

Then that Haru girl had wandered in, so of course Sasagawa was right on her heels, and where Sasagawa was, Lawn Head was sure to follow, and where Lawn Head went, Secret Ops Member Masquerading as Punk Prefect #1 was ten steps away (to prevent property damage, he said, which, obviously, meant that he was secretly mooning after Lawn Head's tight ass. Gokudera had once spent one long afternoon presenting this theory to Sawada. Sawada had then attempted to jump out of his window), and where Punk Prefect #1 went, Pineapple Head was probably heading towards, and where Pineapple Head went, Dog Breath and Beanie Boy were definitely going, and where DB and BB went, Female Pineapple Head was undoubtedly bearing, and where Female Pineapple Head went-

You get the picture.

The point was, Gokudera had wanted a quiet evening with Sawada. What he'd gotten was a zoo.

So. Let the events following their arrival at the skating rink be known as follows :

5 PM: Gokudera and Tsuna enter Namimori Rollerblading. Tsuna makes every endeavor to sneak away. Tsuna fails.
5:02 PM: Gokudera and Tsuna rent skates. Tsuna promptly falls over.
5:05 PM: Gokudera finishes laughing at Tsuna.
5:07 PM: Tsuna takes his first steps onto the skating floor. Tsuna falls.
5:10 PM: Gokudera finishes laughing at Tsuna.
5:15 PM-5:23 PM: Yamamoto arrives, half of Namimori in tow. Tsuna falls over twice more.
5:26 PM: Sasagawa Kyoko and Miura Haru proclaim that they will teach Tsuna to roller blade.
5:42 PM: Gokudera finishes arguing with Miura Haru over who will teach Tsuna to roller blade. This is because Yamamoto had apparently taken it upon himself to do so while they were screaming.
5:43 PM: Sawada Tsunayoshi sets a new record for how many times someone can fall over in an hour period.
5:46 PM: Gokudera finishes laughing at Tsuna.
5:48 PM: Yamamoto laughs at Tsuna. Gokudera attempts to incinerate Yamamoto.
5:49 PM: Tsuna attempts to explain that Yamamoto was laughing with him, and not at him. He fails spectacularly.
5:50 PM: Gokudera sets Yamamoto's hair on fire.

That was about the point where they all got kicked out.

10. When placed in a situation of stress, humans tend to react in one of three ways. I call them the three f's: fight, flight, and having sex.

"Next time I want you to go somewhere with me,” Gokudera muttered angrily, "We're not inviting the Partridge Family."

It was six thirty, and the students had long since separated. After the skating fiasco, Gokudera, who'd been quite sure this was all somehow Yamamoto's fault, had attempted first degree murder. Tsuna, seeing that his already short life was probably about to get even shorter by virtue of being thrown into prison on account of being an accessory to a violent crime, had dragged Gokudera away from the group and to the nearest safe haven. This safe haven had turned out to be an ice cream store which, really, Tsuna thought was a good choice: sugar always made him feel better. Surely, it would do wonders for the temper of a homicidal demon who'd probably never before had sweets.

Obviously, he'd been mistaken. Tsuna blinked at him, squirming. "The what?"

"It's a cultural allusion," Gokudera hissed nastily. "You wouldn't get it." Tsuna's face fell, and Gokudera muffled a groan. "I mean it's foreign. The point is, next time we do something, it's going to be alone. We're not letting anyone else come, alright?"

Tsuna shifted uncomfortably. "Yamamoto-"

"Is an ass," Gokudera said. "No means no, Sawada." He groaned once more, placing his head on the table. "Shit. You try to do something nice, and it all just…argh." He gestured blindly forward, pointing. "Give me my ice cream."

Tsuna sat a little straighter, and reached up to push the bowl sitting between them closer to Gokudera. Predictably, he toppled it right over.

"Fuck," Gokudera said, just as Tsuna wailed I'm sorry! Gokudera grunted, grabbing the few napkins on the table and tossing them onto the rapidly growing puddle. Shitty human. He always messed everything up.

Oddly, that thought almost made him smile.

He cursed to himself and bowed his head to try and hide the widening of his lips. Instead, he busied himself with turning to steal one of the metal napkin dispensers from another table.

And then he saw them.

It couldn't be. It fucking couldn't be.

"Shit," he hissed. "Oh, shit." Tsuna jerked up, his eyes wide and surprised. Immediately, Gokudera was moving, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him up out of his seat, hustling him towards the door at the back marked Personnel Only. He could feel the boy tugging on his arm, trying to pull away, but Gokudera couldn't let him go.

Because right outside the ice cream parlor's window, staring at the surroundings around them like a bunch of woebegone tourists, had been Dino fucking Cavallone and at least a dozen of his men. Men, of course, being an operative word. Dino Cavallone, was not a man. The wings and hooked tail he was keeping hidden deep in the recesses of his body were profound testament to that.

Fuck, fuck, they were in such deep trouble.

"In here," he said, shoving open the door and pushing Tsuna inside. "Fuck, fuck. Stop fighting me, just get the fuck in!"

Tsuna stumbled over his feet, sending a broom clattering to the floor. Gokudera cursed. "Shit," he muttered. "Dammit, stay put! Don't move!" He turned, closing the door behind him and fumbling with the knob, breathing only when it locked. Tsuna made as if to speak, but Gokudera slammed a hand over his mouth, shaking his head wildly. "Shh!" Gokudera hissed. He pressed himself closer, pinning Tsuna to the wall. "Fucking stupid human! They'll hear you!"

He felt Tsuna go stiff underneath them, and in what was quite possibly the first instance of any such feelings in the history of the world, thanked the Lord for the idiot's cowardice. Finally, a human who understood that demons were probably not the sort one would invite over for tea and cookies. This was the sort of person who deserved a place instead of fairy tales. If a big-ass beast ordered Tsuna to stay away from the West Wing, Gokudera felt sure that Tsuna would stay away from the West Wing.

God, he loved this kid. He made life so easy.

The world was quiet outside. Dimly, Gokudera could hear the shuffle of feet and the voices of workers and the parlor’s customers, but they were faraway, and he couldn't sense any arcane presence coming closer. Of course, that meant little; all the higher classes of demons could hide the supernatural signature their spirits made. Those bastards could be swooping in on the closet right now. But the thin skin on his arms wasn't tingling, and his wings were still dormant and nestled deep within his back. They were more sensitive to danger than he was, and if they weren't yet tensing and uncoiling, they were relatively safe.

He slumped, dipping his head to lie against Tsuna's neck, breathing in deeply. Fuck, that had been close. If Tsuna hadn't knocked over that bowl of ice cream-

"Thanks, kid," he mumbled into the skin of Tsuna's neck. "Shit, that was way too close a call."

Beneath him, Tsuna squirmed uncomfortably, hands going up to push at Gokudera's shoulders. Gokudera ignored them. "Gokudera-kun," he whispered finally, eyes wide and scared. "What the hell is going on? Why are we in a broom closet!?"

Gokudera laughed nervously, taking a half-step back, though his hands still caged Tsuna against the wall. "For shits and giggles?"

Tsuna glared at him. It would have looked more menacing were the kid not shaking in his boots. Gokudera glared right back, before groaning and thumping his head back against Tsuna's shoulder.

"So,” he said. "You know how I said I ran away from hell?" Tsuna nodded, and Gokudera laughed, a tad uneasily. "Uh. I might have neglected to mention that some of my father's guards might be coming after me."

Silence, for the space of ten seconds. Then:

"WHAT!?"

Gokudera shoved his hands against Tsuna's mouth, hissing. "Shut up! They could still be here!"

"Who?" Tsuna hissed back, slapping Gokudera’s hands away. "A legion of hell? The darkest forces of the Underworld? Is that who you mean by ‘they!?'"

"…Maybe."

"Oh my God," Tsuna said. "I am going to die. I am going to die and go to hell, where I will spend the rest of eternity being poked with pitchforks and set afire in a lake of lava. This is my future."

Gokudera groaned, dropping his head once more to Tsuna's shoulder. "Look, Sawada," he said. "Just…just calm down. No one's going to set fire to anyone. Because they're not going to catch us. They have no idea where I am. It was total coincidence that fucking Cavallone ended up here. And he's a lameass anyway - there's no way he'll find out where I am. Which means that you and me," Gokudera finished, aiming the most reassuring smile he could at the shivering young boy before him, "are totally home free." He grinned. "I promise."

He could feel Tsuna shivering against him. He tightened his arms around him before he knew he was doing. "Promise," he repeated. "You're completely safe."

Tsuna released a long breath, tilting his head forward onto Gokudera's chest. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Gokudera said.

And the absolutely terrifying thing, he realized, as he breathed against Tsuna's neck and wrapped his arms tighter around the boy, was that he meant it.

Part Two! Did I mention I love Kim a loooooooong time? Because I do. She tops.

My gosh, I'd forgotten how much I adored this pairing  ♥ ♥ ♥ HAPPY BELATED ZEMYX DAY.

Now. Fic. I'll admit, I'm of many, many minds about this one. On the one hand, I'm proud of it. Not joking. Seriously proud of it. On the other hand, I'm just not sure if it flows. Because it's...uh. You know that sculpture? The one with no arms? Well, this fic kind of reminds me of it. Like, the sculpture is famous because it has no arms, but at the same time, the sculptor originally created arms, right? Um. Haha. It's times like these I really wish I had a beta, to try and point out what I know but don't really know, you know?

Well. I guess it's enough that I like it. It's weird, and another one of my stupid, stupid experiments with style, and I'm not even sure it's necessarily comprehensible because when I say I experimented, I mean I ignored a few things they taught us back in grade school, but...heh. Eh heh heh lsdfj;lsdfjsdf. Concrit is, as always, both accepted and encouraged.

Also, yes, it's supposed to be a little...uh. Vague.

Also also, deceptive icon is deceptive.


Title: An Intermission, or, The One Where Zexion is Dead, Except Not
Pairing: Zexion/Demyx
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Romance/Gen
Dedication: To a girl who will never read this, because if she knew I existed I'd probably die of embarrassment. But, well. The Violet Room is precious. And it made me want to write more than I have in quite a while. So thank you.
Summary: Love, as a necessity. Or not.

In the immortal words of Tamaki-senpai:

I'm dying. Fever throat rubby nobe (^0^)/

Title: Domesticity
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Humor(?)
Warnings: I am in love with 2nd person and stream-of-consciousness. This may or may not be a good thing. Also: no, you never find out exactly what happened. IT'S A MYSTERY.
Dedication: For fanged_ferret. Because you light up the sky~ I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS, DIDN'T YOU??? Well, I didn't! I'm not sure if you'll enjoy it, but I really hope so. And if not, I'LL TRY AGAIN.
Summary: In which Riku is a loser, and can't remember what happened last night.





Oh, also. Incidentally, has anyone here ever played Apocripha/0?

OH GOD I DID NOT JUST WRITE THAT TITLE.

Um. Well, uh. Ha haha. Hah. Ha-unnng. Um. You know how most of what I write has a...well, a plot?

Um.

Lol.

Title: Bumping Uglies
Fandom: Amatsuki
Pairing: Bonten/Toki?????
Rating: PG. I'm not kidding.
Genre: Pooointless Humor?
Notes: Hahahahahahahahaha. Look. There's no plot. There's no Kon. There's nothing, really, except 1000 words of me acting like an idiot. And this will probably never ever EVER be posted to the community, because like hell I want an Amatsuki debut like this, lol. This is just me having a hell of a lot of fun and springboarding off that pairing discussion with vowel, for whom this is dedicated. Or for whom it would be dedicated, if this had any substance to it, haha. As it is, I doubt you want to be associated with this, dear, haha, although it's yours if you want it. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD, LOL.
Summary: Bonten and Toki are roommates. Naturally, this causes trouble.

( Fact: Bonten is the most gorgeous creature in creationCollapse )
TBC????

Lol. Um. Anyway. More serious fic to come soon, haha. I will say this, though: have not had that much fun writing something in a while.

Um. I probably shouldn't be doing this, except with the way school's looking, this'll probably be the last bit of fic I write before summer (unless I manage that Byakuran/Shouichi thing I was talking to rainbloom and devicing about between essay #32048234 and essay number #32048235, because...well, porn is porn), so. Uh. Because this is all I have to offer at the moment, and I feel I should offer something, here. Have a sneak peak.



Title: Butterfly
Rating: PG
Genre: Pretty much everything under the sun
Pairings: GokuTsuna, KyokoTsuna
Notes: Any opinions on what Tsuna should call Gokkun? This is Italy, so suffixes are out of the question, but saying something like Mr. Gokudera just strikes me as super freaky-odd. So atm, I just left it as Gokudera, but we'll see. Also: this scene will be a while in the coming. I've pretty much just dropped you in the middle of the story, so if it's confusing, um. I apologize. Also, dedication is, as always, for pokkoru. Except this dumb little piece isn't quite a fitting present. ldj;sfsdf I should just stop talking now, shouldn't I?
Summary: This. Minus the apron. And the toddlers. And in the 19th century. Also: jealous!Gokkun, who hasn't yet realized why he's jealous. Or that he's maybe possibly entertaining pedo feelings of gay towards his fifteen year old ward.

PS: this is not the real summary. Blame it on essay # I've lost track.



...told you it was short. And kind of all over the place. Just wait for the essays to finish, and I'll start writing it. From the beginning, this time.

Anyway. *sleeps*

SO YESTERDAY I GOT MY HONEYSYN POSTERS AND THE GOKUTSUNA DOUJINSHI I GOT FOR THE CONTEST. lfsjd;fljsd;f they're all so gorgeous, and completely enough to offset the fact that the last two weeks have been absolutely horrible. And when I say horrible, I mean how oh how am I still alive horrible. I've had so little time to do anything. I have, however, managed to complete about half of the next chapter of SGW! I wanted to have it done by now, but with the way things have been these last few weeks, I can scarcely muster up the energy to feel guilty...but yes. I re-did my outline, and I think that, including this chapter, there may be five left before the thing finishes. I could be off, but that's the way things are looking.



Title: Sand Between Your Toes
Pairing: Zemyx
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Gen
Word Count: Shortish. Uh. ~3K, I think?
Disclaimer: We know I don't own it. dls;fjls;df SORA. *wails*
Summary: I'm just feeling wistful, I guess.

BECAUSE LJ WILL NOT WIN:

Note: After the debacle that was lj completely deleting 98% of this entry, I got mad and re-wrote it again. So it might not be as clear or concise as the previous version, but HELL. I'LL EDIT IT LATER.

Sooo.

While trying to catch up on everything, I remembered that, once upon a time, I was talking withtsudera  and I said something along the lines of "I WANT TO MAKE MY OWN RANT POST ON GOKUTSUNA." Because it's pretty much become the ship nearest and dearest to my heart and I love those boys so much and sjf;lsdfj.

WARNING: IMAGE HEAVY LIKE WHOE, AND CONTAINS SO MANY SPOILERS IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

So. I think we all knew this was coming. And if you didn't: SHAME ON YOU. YOU'RE NOT PERVY ENOUGH.

But that's neither here nor there. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with what I'm sure we've all been waiting for.


Rules are:

There are no rules. Seriously. ANYTHING GOES.

But that's no fun, so:
1) Anon is suggested, but not required.
2) If you make a request, please try and fill one out.
3) Yes, art is allowable.
4) Please post only ONE request per comment.
5) No wank, plz, or we'll lose our reputation.
6) Nope, you're not restricted only to porn. We all know the tease can be just as fun.

And if you're having trouble getting started, have a LIST.

UM. So, my sleeping schedule needs work. I've pretty much become a vampire, but hey: it's all good, lol. It's still dark, so I figure I'm allowed to go to sleep. Anyway. Ah. So, I'm not sure how many of you caught my minor freak-out post last night before I went and made it private, but to the ones that did and actually messaged me, even after I did so: seriously, you have my undying love and thanks. It means a whole, whole lot.

But after that, I was really in a let's prove my worth lol kind of mood, so um. This is the result. This is just about the oddest, oddest thing I've ever written. Not in the subject matter, but in the writing. I was, uh, experimenting with tenses, and POVs, and halfway into a bubble bath story I wrote a sentence that had nothing to do with bubble baths, and then I wrote a few more sentences, and then I got the idea to make the narrator not Gokudera or Tsuna, and this is what resulted. I have no opinion on this fic. Probably because it's seven in the morning. But mostly because it's just sort of weird and I can't judge for myself. But...well, on my way to the vending machines to get a Powerade, I read Always do what you are afraid to do on someone's door, and I figured: hey. I'm allowed to experiment. I'm also allowed to write something that is not DRIPPING WITH ANGST AND EMO.

So. Ah. Here you go. I'm not x-posting this anywhere yet, because it hasn't been edited and it's just so weird I'm not sure if I want anyone else outside of my flist to see it, but. Um. I don't know. I'LL LET YOU ALL JUDGE.

Title: since feeling is first
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: PG? There's a bit of language, but not much else besides.
Genre: Romance/Gen
Notes: Um. The narrator is ambiguous. Mostly because I don't know myself. I mean, first I knew who it was, but then I decided against her and chose someone else, and then I decided against her and chose someone else. All I know is it's a girl. You can decide who yourself. Also, the POV is just kind of odd. The whole fic is odd. It's just...oddy odd odd odd. Also, lines are from cummings' since feeling is first, in case it's not TOTALLY obvious. And the quote is by Emerson.
Dedications: To pokkoru, because everything GokuTsuna I write is for pokkoru. And for treat and zanni_smile, because you guys are awesome and made me happy even when I was being totally emo. I DON'T THINK THIS IS A DECENT OFFERING, BECAUSE IT'S ODD, BUT. UM. IT'S FOR YOU GUYS ANYWAY.
Summary: Laugh, leaning back in my arms.

Hahaha, I'm not quite sure where this one came from.  The idea for it at first came from another fic; my first attempt at linear_flower's birthday gift. It was a lighthearted piece, about children in a sandlot, playing Mafia games that are only games. But I couldn't write it, for whatever reason. And then I thought sandcastle, and this just sort of showed up.

It also really made me realize how very differently I write humor fics and more serious fics. So much of humor depends on dialogue, I think, so in my comedies, I tend to skimp on description and all things that make a story 'pretty.' But with everything else, where the focus is on introspection and description, my style flows(flows? is that the right word?) more. Haha, when I look at my humor stuff and my angst fic, it almost feels like two different people wrote it. Not in the words or phrases I use - the things that make my style mine - but in the manner I deliver it. Does that make sense? Sorry, haha, but I've been up all night. Anyway. Here you go, dear. Your birthday ficlet is much, much overdue, and it's so very different than what I originally planned, but I think I like it, and I hope you do, too.

Quote, by the way, is from Richard Lovelace's To Althea, From Prison.

Title: Camelot
Pairing: Dino/Tsuna
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Dedication: For linear_flower. This is so late, it's not even funny, but I hope you enjoy it even a little!
Summary: They're the sort of boys who laugh for no reason, after all.

SOOO. Now that the monster essays are over (for now dsklfj), I have time to continue the ficspam. First up is the next installment in the A Little Bit of Luck universe, which actually takes place chronologically before the last one. Hahah, I love this verse so much. It's so casual, and there's no angst, and I get to play with a pairing I love. After all the drama I've been pounding out lately, it's a breath of fresh air. Plus, they're the first het fics I've written in forever, lol. Anyway, here you go: short, sort-of-sweet, and with our favorite wannabe-liars tossed together in yet another series of unfortunate circumstances....GOSH I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH. They're so love-love, except they're really not, which makes it even better. And they deserve happiness, seriously. After all the crap they have to put up with in Liar Game? I need to give them a bit of humor and lightness. So here you go, guys. May your brush with the supernatural give you joy.

Series Title: A Little Bit of Luck
Installment Title: Knots in my Hair
Pairing: Akiyama/Kanzaki, sort of.
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen/Humor/Romance in the far future
Author's Notes: The title comes from a line in this fic, but then I realized it's also a throwback to Girl Anachronism. Which really isn't relevant in any way, but Kanzaki + Dresden Dolls? LOL. Also, like I mentioned, this one actually takes place before the last. But these are just one-offs, really, and they're all so uber-casual, so I don't think it matters. Plus, I like this format.
Dedication: For nurikokoishii. Duh.
Summary: In which the virtues of coercion and murder are pondered. Except, not really.



On that note, I need Kanzaki/Akiyama icons like whoe. Damn the 15-icon limit to hell.

And goodness me, neither of them are angsty. And they're both at least moderately porny. I'm going to pull a Metis here and go YATTA. A few things to say first, though:

• Um, I've apparently been given maintainer-ship over rigo_argutiae ! I swear, I started grinning so hard when I found out. It's going to be even more work, but I've been missing my Kingdom Hearts OTP so very much these last few weeks, and I'm definitely gonna do my best with it!
• DAMMIT GOKUTSUNA FIC. BE WRITTEN. To be fair, I haven't looked at that document much today, as most of it was spent with these two ficlets. But it's just not cooperating. But it shall. IT SHALL. OH GOD THERE'S BEEN A WEEK EXTENSION. gokutsuna MODS, I LOVE YOU.
  
• Also, my roommate? GOSH I LOVE HER. She's taking a class called Primate Sexuality. We spent half an hour staring wide-eyed at pictures of lemur penises. UM. THOSE THINGS ARE SCARY. THEY HAVE BARBS. BARBS. DO YOU HEAR ME, BARBS. LIKE, SHARP, POINTED, KNIFE THINGS ON THEIR PENISES. SKDLFJSF.
• slfjdsflj at school. Just skdlfjsldf. I have so much work it's not even funny. So long, sleep. It was nice knowing you.
• But deadlines shall be met anyway. Seriously. If I've got to overdose on espresso and chocolate, they'll be met. OR ELSE.

And now, on to fic!

Title: Complex
Pairing: Josh/Metis
Rating: Um. PG-15? One day, I'm gonna become, like, the rating master. I'll be able to list a proper rating at the top of my head. That day is not today.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Dedication: To snarky_kat . Duh. And kyogou! Whose comment in my last fic gave me the inspiration for this one.
Summary: Fetish (n): An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation. This is where Josh says: oh, shit.


And now on to Metis. Because he's the main character and deserves screen time, too.

Title: Complex, Part Two: STOP LAUGHING AT ME, CHARLES.
Alternate Title: Take It Off
Pairings: Josh/Metis
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Dedication: *points up* Fic idea came from snarky_kat, who graciously lent me the bunny!
Summary: Two guys walk into a gay dance club. There's a joke in there, somewhere.


*dashes off to write essays*

Ahem. I've seriously been writing a lot lately, haven't I? In about a month, I've written the 50-sentence SasuNaru piece, and that Zemyx clip and the hugeass Kakashi/Gai/Iruka, and three GokuTsuna drabbles and a longer GokuTsuna fic and HoneySyn fic. A little over 17K, I think. *boggles* And there's more coming up. Like, quite a bit more within the next week or two.

So, to continue the spam, I have fic! Liar Game fic. Which most of you probably have not read, but all of you SHOULD. So here you go.

Title: A Little Bit of Luck: Hard Work and Honest Effort
Pairing: Pre-Akiyama/Kanzaki. Sort of.
Genre: General/Humor/Sort-of-Romance
Rating: PG
Notes: This is an AU, and an AU that has a backstory, and I may or may not continue writing in this universe.  Because there's a past, and there's definitely a future, and while I think this story reads nicely as a stand-alone, I can definitely see it continuing if I have time. Oh, and the alternation of English prefixes and Japanese suffixes is done on purpose, and with reason. It wasn't just a mistake on my part, haha.
Dedication: For nurikokoishii, of course, who fangirls Liar Game with me. And who, by the by, I owe fic for. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THAT I OWE YOU ZEMYX FIC FOR THE SEMI-FRIENDS ONLY BANNER YOU MADE ME LIKE TEN YEARS AGO. And one day, barring, like, death, I shall finally write it for you!
Summary: A fairy, a corrupt politician, and an ex-convict walk into a bar. Or not.

Theory first, because it's been bugging the hell out of me.


Ahem. Well. I also have HoneySyn ficlet. I don't know what to think about it. I mean, it's not bad, but I know I can do better. I think I like it, but I've already done masturbation fic, so it feels like a tired concept to me. But people wanted Josh-angsting-over-Metis-while-jerking-off fic, and I said I'd deliver, SO. I don't know if I'm gonna cross-post this to the honey_syn comm, because I'm not sure if I like it yet. But here ya go: pointless smut. In second person, lol, because I haven't been able to get that perspective out of my head since zanni_smile wrote her Jay/Charles trilogy (and, for the record, dear? You've given me an inferiority complex, hahaha. I can't think HoneySyn fic without thinking 'SHE DID IT BETTER FIRST.')

Title: Holes
Pairing: Josh/Metis
Rating: R
Genre: Smut/Angst...Romance?

Firstly: To all you HoneySyn fans! Right now at honey_syn, kyogou's holding an icon and banner contest, and she's thinking about offering prizes. I was wondering if one of you talented, talented artists would mind drawing something as a prize? I know a number of you are fantastic artists, and I'd adore it if you could please do so. She'd really be grateful, and you all KNOW I'd be grateful, and if you wanted, I'd be more than willing to write you something in thanks. If any of you are considering it, could you please comment here and say that you might, or send me an e-mail or an lj message? I'd really, really appreciate it.

Secondly: ...I just...have nothing to say about this fic. Except for what I said in the notes. Gokudera-kun, I swear I will write you something out of a fairy tale one day, and it will be sweet and fluffy and awesome and filled with one true love and you will live happily ever after, the end.

Title: A Stray Child
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: R
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: What could possibly be equal to Tsuna's life?
Notes: The xxxHolic/KHR crossover. Which hey, should be pretty fucking cracky, right? WRONG. Because we all know I can angst just about anything, and for whatever reason I've been on something of an angst kick lately, so here you go. A Stray Child, otherwise known as Let's make Gokudera's life as shitty as we possibly can, for no reason whatsoever. Also, while the title is from .hack, the fic itself was written to Roads. That should say something.



And a bonus drabble, because after that tripe I needed some fluff.

Title: Response
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Summary: You're so weird, Gokudera-kun.




ALSO?  I want THIS. But it's 20 bucks and if there's S&H it'll probably be more, and I'm too cheap to spend that much on a single shirt...give me advice, my dears. To buy, or not to buy!

eta: LOL AT THE URL. 59278? IT'S A SIGN.

I apologize for spamming the flist, but please bear with me. So. The beginning and end of this fic have come to bug me so much that I've decided that doing my hundred+ pages of reading would be infinitely preferable to trying to slug through what will, in essence, be merely a  page's worth of writing. That's right, folks: tonight, I chose academia over fic.

BUT I SAID I WOULD HAVE IT UP TONIGHT AND AS THAT'S LOOKING UNLIKELY, THIS IS THE LEAST I CAN DO TO TRY AND APOLOGIZE.

Both of these were, respectively, at one point the beginning and the end of this fic. I've come to decide that they DO NOT MATCH IT AT ALL, but I do kind of like them a little bit, and I wanted to prove that at least I've been working, so here you go. Two short pieces that I figure can serve as stand-alones.

Title: A Beginning and an End, Reversed
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: R
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: And it's spring:



...when the world is puddle-wonderful...




...blurgh. Okay, on second thought, I don't like them as much as I thought I did. But they're still better than 100+ pages of reading.

And here you all go with a formal link!

Title: Three Nin in a Boat
Rating: Hard R
Genre: Romance/Humor/Crack
Pairing: Kakashi/Gai/Iruka, plus NaruSasu and mentions of Gaara/Lee
Notes: This was written for the amazing red_rahl as part of the oh_shit_santa gift exchange. Also, I'd like to thank snarky_kat for the help she gave with this fic, as fishing clued me into what I wanted to write. Thank you bunches, dear!
Summary: It was, to tell the truth, a stupid idea.

( In Which There is a Boat )

I'm not sure how many Naruto lovers there are on my flist, but I hope you all enjoy!

Also: THE AWESOME JAY/CHARLES HONEYSYN FIC NOW HAS A SEQUEL.

AND IT'S AMAZING. SDKFLJLSDJF. I'LL WRITE YOU A PROPER RESPONSE FOR BOTH OF THEM, DEAR, I SWEAR.

And now I want to write HoneySyn fic, too but if i do...QUESTY YOU MUST NOT TELL NUU BECAUSE I SWEAR I WOULD DIE OF MORTIFICATION IF SHE FOUND OUT. But first must come the KHR/xxxHolic xover, which has already been begun. Another shortish, oddish one, which'll hopefully be up sometimes this weekend. Then I'll continue with the Zemyx middle school AU.

As for now, I have fics to read and reviews/comments to write and textbooks to buy and a dinner with friends to go to, so I'll take my leave!

and i'm disabling comments right now because i always feel bad if i don't have the time to respond to them. but if there's something you really, really wanna say, please just send me a message.

So, this day's been weird. And I've been doing my level best to get that challenge out. UM UM  ronsard?  questofdreams? IF YOU'RE READING THIS I NEED YOU TO SLAP ME. TELL ME THAT THE DEADLINE IS IN, LIKE, TWO DAYS. HOLY SHIT, IT'S IN TWO DAYS.

So, naturally, what did I do? I wrote something else. For that 1sentence comm, which I am absolutely NOT signed up for, but I needed to get the, ah, creative juices flowing, so I wrote SasuNaru. It...didn't quite work. But my head's cleared up anyway, so I'm going to continue. OMG SOMEONE SLAP ME.

Sentence Set: Epsilon
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Rating: G - R
Dedication: To fish_for_ashes, because I've been re-reading her fics for the last five hours trying to get a hold on characterization because hers is awesome. Though this doesn't even count as a fic, so it's not really something to dedicate, I think...I don't know. ONE DAY I'LL WRITE YOUR FIC, MY DEAR. ONE DAY.
Note: Six of these - three sets of two - are directly connected to the subsequent sentence. 10 and 11, 28 and 29, and 47 and 48, I think.


And, because it was pretty much a unanimous vote, the Drug Scene from the hugeass-Zemyx-middle-school-au-that-will-not-freaking-end-dammit-those-difficult-little-SOBs. Don't expect it to be very polished, or to make much sense, as this is just the first draft. It'll undergo revision later. Sort of.


And that was how Zexion got parental approval. Sort of.

Off to continue writing! I'll see you!

Two in as many days?


And a P.S. Red, dear? Do you think I should post this to ffnet? I wrote this fic for you, so I'll leave it at your discretion. I'm honestly not sure what I think, so I'll give you the choice.

Now, off to catch up with all the fics I have yet to read or review!

Title: Desiderata
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Genre: Gen/Drama
Rating: PG-13
Dedication: For Red. Please be well, dear, and much, much love.
Summary: It's been ten years since the beginning of this mad war, ten years since the first of these monstrosities spewed forth from whichever demonic dimension they were made.

Oh, I don't know what this is! And I have very little time to post this properly (I'm gonna go watch my sister's drumline practice in a little less than an hour), so if there are mistakes I didn't catch on the first read-through, please point them out! I'm very sorry for the oddness and pointlessness of this, and for the fact that it's not even proper porn...*sweatdrops* But I'll do better next time!

Title: Ignorance
Pairing: Makoto/Masayuki/Tarou. Sort of.
Genre: Smut/Angst
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He thinks they've already fallen down.

I made it. HAHAHAHAHA. Damn straight I did. Just in time; I finished this thing, like, seconds before it turned twelve. So it won't be posted until a few minutes after, probably, but what can ya do...

OKAY. YOU GUYS. THIS IS PROBABLY THE WORST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN, EVER. WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS SONG, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CRAPPINESS. Just...kljlkj. I'll edit it when I've got this posted.


Title: Vulgar
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/General/AU
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Warnings: AU. Namimori and Kokuyo are based on the Universities of Trento and Bologna in Italy, respectively. Language. And the oddest tense ever. I've noticed I have an obsession with present tense. I should work on that.
Summary: So, you've just given away your virginity to a stranger with beautiful eyes and vulgar lips and the prettiest ass you've ever seen on a guy, ever.
Lyrics: Bitch of Living - Spring Awakening

...THE TITLE'S TEMPORARY, OKAY? IT WAS ALL I COULD COME UP WITH.

Um. So, notes:

• I need to practice this happy porn thing.
• Like, seriously.
• And while I'm at it, pronouns are my friends. I should not forget about them.
• This was written for the awesomely EXTREME pokkoru. HER IDEA, FOLKS. The prompt went something like this: GokuTsuna are watching porn.
  
• Yes, you read that right.
• This was written in third person present tense stream-of-consciousness. What does this mean? It means that it was the easiest thing in the world to write. AND THE HARDEST EVER TO EDIT, MY GOSH. DAYS WERE SPENT EDITING. DAYS.
• DAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYS.
• Ahem. Well, you can pretty much be guaranteed that this is dumb. Almost as dumb as the laptop!Zexion/iPod!Demyx fic. And just as porny.
  
• BTW. Life's been so extremely busy lately, it's not even funny. I'll have a post on that sometime tomorrow.
• Anyway. The title. I'M SORRY. I WAS READING CHINTSUBU. I'VE GOT CHINKOS ON MY MIND. I CAN'T HELP IT.
  
• Please be sure to point out any errors/inconsistencies you may find!

Well. Shall we begin?

Title: Chinko
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Genre: Crack/Smut/Romance/Please don't ask
Rating: ...ummm...Hard R? Weak NC-17?
Dedication: To pokkoru, who will probably not want to be associated with this thing once she's finished reading it. And to ill_ame and amecandy for giving me oodles of support and inspiration.
Summary: Theoretically, Tsuna could probably blame his current situation on a whole lot of things. The position of the stars, or the direction of the wind, or Reborn, maybe, because Tsuna's got the sneaking suspicion that all evil in the world can be traced back to Reborn.

So, you know how some of you tell me I should probably be asleep by 3AM? Heh. 8 AM SUCKERS, AND STILL NOT EMO. Ahem. I've been writing. And talking with pokkoru. And conniving her into helping me edit sort of. She caught a pretty interesting typo. Awkwardly placed, too. Hahaha, I laughed. And I'm tired. I think that's obvious. Heh. Ahem, yes. SO. LIKE. KHR. I mean, I've been writing KH for over a year now, but this is my first KHR fic and I am...just excited. And terrified. 'Cause, like...I don't know. This is so new, and I'm doing my best to get as good a handle on the characters as I can, but...wow. It's like closing your eyes and stepping onto the street, hoping you won't crash. Or something. Shut up, it's 8 in the morning, I can't come up with good metaphors this early. Anyway. I hope this meets your expectations.

Title: Crumbs
Pairing: Goku/Tsuna; physical sorta YamaGoku, and past YamaTsuna
Rating: Hard R
Genre: Angst? Romance? Utter sap? You guys label 'em better than I do.
Disclaimer/Notes: Not real, guys. Oh, and this was written for the lovely pokkoru. You know I'll always be grateful for introducing me to this series, and for the last few days. You've got no idea how happy it all made me. Thank you so much.
Summary: And  the only thing running through his mind, the only thought coherent enough to make itself known is it should have been me.

If there's one thing work at Trinity is good for, it's that I get time to write. My last three fics (HtB, YCM, and this one) were mostly all written during the 9PM-2AM shift at the cafe. Which is surprisingly more busy than one would think. Ah, well. Don't expect much from this one. This really isn't anything special, or particularly interesting. But the idea, as plain as it was, just wouldn't stop bugging me, and it was driving me crazy.

So here you go: odd, purposeless, introspective 2nd person outsider fic. Or drabble. Ficlet? *shrugs* Well, as uninteresting as it may be, I enjoyed writing it. I mean, I really enjoyed it. Haven't loved writing a fic so much since Trust, and that's saying something because everything about Trust was enjoyable. And I haven't had words pour from me like this since that fic, too. Oh, Trust. On that note, next one-shot's a Riku/Sora. Not quite humor, definitely not drama. Just sort of wistful. No theme song this time, but I wanted to do something that brings to mind -in Just, which I'm also going to use as the title.

Well, I'll just post this and go to sleep. It's been a very long day and night, and I'll probably bullet-point it tomorrow. One good thing, though: HAHAH HONEYSYN'S BACK, AND THE COVER'S GOT CHARLES AND JAY. Oh, Charles. Remind me to fangirl over Charles later.

Title: Aesthetics
Pairing: Zexion/Demyx
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Disclaimer/Notes: Not mine. Introspective. 2nd person. Outsider fic. Narrator is ambiguous, but it should be obvious enough who I was thinking of while writing.
Summary: Aesthetically, they're a catastrophe.

No, don't look at me like that. I'm not responsible for this. This is all the brainchild of the lovely thru_violets, who owns shares in my soul. It's not my fault. I am not the father of this monstrosity, I am only the mother who spewed it forth.

...

OMG I'M SORRY I SWEAR. BUT THIS WAS WAY TOO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. TOO, TOO MUCH FUN. I LAUGHED. I DON'T THINK YOU WILL. BUT I LAUGHED.

Ahem. I should, ah, probably get to it.

Title: You Compute Me
Subtitle: Forgive Me, Readers, For I Have Sinned
Genre: Crack/Smut
Rating: ...unrated? Does it count if it's appliance!sex?
Pairing: Zemyx. Or, to be more accurate, laptop!Zexion + iPod!Demyx. Yeah, you read that right.
Notes: Yes. I went there. Remember how some of you think I'm mature? You're wrong.
Disclaimer: Not mine, and dear goodness, please let none of the higher-ups ever find out I wrote this.
Summary: ... Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you'd be good at pulling cable.
Secondary Notes: Just...suspend disbelief for a minute, alright guys?
Dedication: For thru_violets. With all my love. And all my kink. And all my immaturity. And the small amount of skill I possess. And dear, I adore you. Writing this fic made my day. Completely. Everytime I feel down, I'm going to beg you for cracked out ideas.

 
P.S. I'm really not high. I swear.

P.P.S. No, seriously. 

Title: Shout!
Pairing: Zemyx
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: M
Summary: The worst thing about living in an apartment, Zexion decided, were the neighbors. And the fact that his were apparently nymphomaniacs. And by the way: falling in love with one of them? So not a good idea. [Zemyx]

Title: Shout!
Pairing: Zemyx
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: M
Summary: The worst thing about living in an apartment, Zexion decided, were the neighbors. And the fact that his were apparently nymphomaniacs. And by the way: falling in love with one of them? So not a good idea. [Zemyx]

Ya, so finally - blessedly - the second chapter of View is up. EVERYBODY SAY HAY! HO! Except not, because even I'm not that much of a dork. Yes, I'm tired, so sue me. Except don't. Please. I am really, really tired.


And now fic!

Title: View
Rating: T
Pairing: Zemyx
Genre: Romance/Humor/Crack
Summary: So one day Zexion, while busy bemoaning his lonely life, decides a bride might break up the monotony nicely. So he steals one. Unfortunately, his wife’s the kid of some god or another. And not quite happy about being abducted. And male. Can't forget male.

*Waves* H'lo. So. I'm done. Finally. Blessedly. I'll come back after I go to sleep and edit anything I feel needs editing, might even change the order a bit. Not sure. In a few weeks, I'll probably post this on ffnet, after I've had enough time to write some more and finalize the sequence of events.

Ah. And later, I'll probably add notes, and some background on the whole mythology aspect of View. Some of it should be fairly obvious, and I'm sure most of you are familiar with the story of Persephone and Hades. I've taken liberties with some of they myths. One more thing: some of the characters are sometimes referred to their original Greek names, and sometimes by their actual KH/FF names. For example, Sora is sometimes called Eros, and Riku is sometimes called Psyche. Ah. I might as well add a short list of who's who, at least in this chapter.

 
That being said, I present you with the first chapter of View! And please forgive any crappy humor. I'm tired.

Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance Crack only because I'm turning Demyx into Persephone
Dedication: To villanelle_koi. I'm sorry I didn't have this completed by your birthday, but I hope it's worth the wait at least a little bit.
Summary: So one day Zexion - god o’ Hell - while busy lamenting his lonely life, decides a bride might break up the monotony nicely. So he steals one. Unfortunately, his wife’s the kid of some god or another. And not quite happy about being abducted. And male. Can't forget male.

So, do you all remember that Riku/Sora one-shot thingamajig I posted a million gajillion years ago in honor of fruchiseka's birthday? Heh. Finally, after way too long, I finished it. I'm pretty sure most of you have already seen it on ffnet, but I figured I'd post it here for my own records...

Flippin' 'f' key doesn't wanna work...

Title: Snowball Melting
Rating: T
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: Once upon a time, a boy named Riku tumbled into Sora's apartment through a conveniently placed bedroom window. And Sora was much displeased.

You can head over to ffnet...

You bought me a VibraMoogle...

Or you can click the livejournal cut and read it here:

And yet another one of the giftshots that I've spent my spring break writing! And oh, what an end to my break it was! You know...everytime I write something and pour my everything into it, I realize why, exactly, I adore writing so much. Oh, it's not the actual act of it that I love with all my heart, though I do enjoy it. Typing away at a keyboard, after all, gets sort of monotonous after a while. No, the thing that I love is...it's coming up with stories. It's writing them in a daze, as if I'm not really paying attention to what I'm writing, but the words are pouring themselves from me anyway. That's how I write - for the most part, I don't deliberate on things unless I'm really stuck. They just sort of...rush from me. Pour from me...half-thoughts and emotions that I barely have a grasp of. But when I come up with a story and go over it in my head, and when I'm done with the writing part and I go back and read it, and when I realize that..."You know what? I would read this. I would actually read this." That's what I love.


Title: Look Away
Rating: M
Pairing: Zemyx
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: It began three months ago, with a turn of the head and an opening of blinds. And now, Zexion can't stop.

You can head on over to ffnet by clicking the below link...

...He couldn't look away...

Or you can click the cut below and read it here on lj.

So! After a hundred million years, I've finally completed the AkuRoku one-shot written for Delightful Sin as thanks for creating that beautiful AMV for Advanced Theory. And I actually love it. It was almost unbelievably simple to write, and I actually laughed while doing so. I mean...it's crack. You can't tell that it's crack until you actually reach the end, but pay no attention to the man behind the curtain drama-ish outset. I hope you all like it!

Title: Hurt Me
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairing: AkuRoku
Summary: One day, Axel walked into Intro to the Art of War looking like a Picasso painting.

The link below takes you to ffnet...

...I know what you've been doing...

Or for those who prefer lj:


And remember, feedback is love. Heh. I should make that a colorbar.